Letting go...

He said a relationship is about sacrifice... but why is it for the past two years i am always the one sacrificing... i am not asking u to give up ur dreams... i am just asking u to defer for another two years.. so difficult... why isit its a must for me to let go of my family, career, friends and everything here just to follow u suit... and not u sacrificing another six months for me... if u say a relationship is about sacrifices... are u doing so? Havent i sacrifice enough?

Whose gf will tolerate bf sleep with another woman, cheated on her time and time again, different women come and go, late for almost every outing... Yun told me she salute me for doing so... am i really worth the salute? I guess many call me stupid... and i gradually admit... yes i am stupid and blind by the love... but i am not going to be blind anymore... so tired... so so so tired... can someone hug me???

I submitted the email... and when I told him that, instead of hugging me tight and say thank you... he asked, "why do u do so... i havent even get a place yet..." sacrifices? That bitch commented a month back, "Enjoy the year while u still can, for u will knw why soon..."... now i know why le... u are really heading over... to meet that bitch... true... for ur good... i shld sacrifice... i will, I am letting go for now... Perhaps this is what u wan... u always dun wana be the baddie... i will be one for now... I wont act "wei da"... everyone know me as a straightforward person... So Ray, I hate u to the core... two years... "thks" for everything...

*Thks for giving me the best of two years... I grow and learn alot... mummy say u are my first love... i guess so ba... two years... thks"

From him to her (Handmade roses)

From her to him (Special montege and Davidoff perfume)

Happy Vday my love

Met him for Vday celebration yesterday and it was a nice and sweet day after all... he has a handmade roses for me and even spray perfume in it... very sweet for a big man like him... but this might be our last vday together if i decide not to go US with him... a painful decision to be made because i will need to give up everything to go over with him... i have spoke to mummy and she ask me to decide myself... but her answer to me is not favourable... sigh... talked to alot of ppl but all not very favourable... sad!!! We went to have our lunch at Ajisen at Novena and then went to watch movie and shopping at Lido... watch "Look for a star" by Andy Lau and ShuQi... duno y but i sob while some parts, or i shld say many parts during the show... emo? or is it reflecting my love life now? Saw Azman and Tina with little Ricky after the show... OMG, lil ricky is super cute la... hahaha... but he is super shy when i tried to play with him... hahaha... i wan my own kids... hmm... midst of the movie, that bitch msg him again... and trying to act "stranger" when being asked who is she... irritating and spoilt my mood... but he keep assuring me and coax me... i hate her... purposely chose to msg on this special day and make me cry... BITCH!!!

Later going to see Dianya off at airport with those crazy L6... we gotta miss u my dearest yaya... take gd care of urself... there sure be teasr and laughter later... *tissue*

Finally have time to blog after days of running up and down... mummy was admitted to SGH on thurs and I took e-leave on sat to pei her... my poor mummy always will have a relapse if overwork and the insensitive boss still took everything for granted... hmmp!!! idiotic... and finally after days of running up and down hospital, while im resting at home today after yesterday tedious night shift, she call me and say... "u come fetch mummy later"... im so super excited... hee... and so, i woke up immediately and went over to fetch her.. hee... partner Halim and TL ytrday... hmm alot of msgs up till 4am but all is PAR... relax!!! eheheh...

After fetching mummy, went over to pray tai sui as today is the last day and its so super hot there la... wow, the heat there is really unbearable and one boy who look about 8-10yrs fainted while the ritual is on... poor boy... after praying then come home and sleep...

Supposely meeting him but we postpone it to tmr as he is having some discussion at granny's house... poor granny... and while blogging now... just received a sms from him saying that he is going washup.. ok shal wait for ur call.. heh.. and oh ya, mummy last min told me to send her to leilei there, wondering who is leilei... he is my mummy godson and he is just super FAT and cute... ahhaha... and here i am, blogging after the visiting and makan session at auntie zhu house... hehe

My dearest godbro, "Zi Lei"

*Looking forward to 14Feb2009*

Looking at death

When news and email was sent out yesterday about him dead, everyone was pondering... why, when, what happened... and i finally know how it happened after reading some news... he committed suicide by burning charcoal at home... its very sad when one young male of 27yrs just passed away like that and was only discovered moments later... he himself seen so much and handle with some many before but am not able to take it when it happened to him... Life is so fragile... but humans are not treasuring it... cancer patients wanted to live, but they do not have any chance... going thru chemo and lots of suffering and ended up still lost the battle, why cant ppl just treasure it when u are so healthy and fine... what is it on earth cant be solve that u need to leave everyone around you crying and shouting for ur name... Death... approaching yet so far away... im treasuring everyone around me especially mummy when life is just so unexpected...

If "U" lose me... remember my smiles and laughter... for that will always stay in ur heart....

Cake from us to dearest Yaya

L6 and sisters

Yours truly and the star (Yaya)

The whole group who contributed to the FUN

31Jan2009 - Its our two years and one month anniversary, two years back today, he gave me a surprise by telling me he got work and then appear suddenly under my block with a pair or couple ring and one red rose... very sweet huh... but on this day two years later... he came over to my house, again, but we then proceeded over to fetch godma at jurong west and later drive back to her house at CCK... after bai nian, we went to have a little shopping and eat at Lot One... after that, drove back to his place and he slept and i drove back home shortly after... meetup with my L6 at about 9pm and then have a surprise party for dianya planned solely by our dearest capable peiyun... she bk the room, cake, mixer etcetc all alone... so nice... celebrate and then went suppeer at xin wang and the party kinda ended... My dearest... pls take care of urself over at Sydney... we will miss u so much future art director...

Look at the COW behind us.. heheh

1Feb2009 - Have our lunch near upp thomson as they wanted something new, so i brought them to have the famous bak cho mee(my fave) and they all love it... hee... peiyun even want deserts after meal and all was reluctant... so full liao la... after that send them home and went home to take a short nap... evening time, lulu call me and told me to go outing... therefore meetup with the gang and we visited river ang bao... nothing much this year... hmm, boring.. shortly after, we went over to have our dinner at east coast and here am i, blogging and resting soon... tired two full days of fun and laughter...