My heart is bleeding... not because of ray... but because of something else... im in very deep pain... a pain nothing can describe... for the past few months.. he company me to go thru it somehow.. but now, i feel that im the main cause... im in pain... my heart is bleeding... i cant help but to cry... my heart just unknowingly burts... BADLY!!!

Went to Jo's house warming the other day but the main focus of the day is little sweetie Izzah... she has grow so big in just five months... cute... was playing with her the whole two hrs and she is such a honey... pretty little baby girl... love her so much.. heh... and after that went home nap coz not well.. Look at the photos and you know what a sweetie is she... video too slow to upload.. other time perhaps.. hee..

She is a SWEET!!!

Perfect wallpaper

Myself and sweetie

Met bibi yesterday and today... ytrday was somehow tired so went Yishun shop awhile and went home shortly after... just now met him to have botak jones and i have swank and eggs... woohoo... nice to eat and filling... but weather is so super hot sia.. hope it will turn better soon... coz reali buay tahan...

Tmr gotta work again... sianx.. but lucky nite shift need not work.. coz got badminton intra-comp on wed and thurs... hee... hope to clinch 2nd tis time round coz last yr got third... jiayou!!!

New top from Purpur, HAPPY!!!

Finally exams is over and Im one more step closer to getting my diploma.. yeah... happy... but one thing very angry with the FIT lecturer.. he told us can dun study internet and world wide wed but there is two qns came out about the topics.. angry!! we have decided to write a complain and wonder if it helps.. hmm... and when I stepped into the exam room, alot of ppl shake head after seeing all the qns.. lucky i got focus afew of topics which came out.. heng.. hope can make it.. hmm... after exams came home and change to car and subsequently drove over to meet meimei and lulu at JP... so hungry.. and we settle down for LJS as long time never eat that, subsequently went shopping.. i bought a sweet top.. a top that is so not me but meimei and lulu say it looks good when i tried it so i bought it.. its too sweet for a sporty person like me.. heh.. happy shopping... looking forward to outing on sunday with him.. i wana PLAY!!!! kbox, bowling, shopping!!! Post exams activities... heh...

One paper down... and three more to go... Fundamentals of InfoTech, Biz statistics and last but not least accounting and finance... preparing and saving up for my degree program... excited to see myself in five yrs time.. Xinyi went back ytrday nite.. i miss u my lil sweetie... shall visit u if got chance... will only get to see her next year if not... sobx... and im missing u bibi... see ya tmr for revision... hee... get well soon... gotta head back to books again... coz evening going to meet my gang for dinner and chill... looking forward to seeing them... Aimei bday ytrday... hee.. hope she likes the pressie i got for her... hee... coz i love them myself.. for a non girly girl like me.. i guess she will like it..

*MUGGING * MUGGING* MUGGING*

Parker Pen from GuoCai.. thks brother..

Cute "Pooh bear" baby set for Mdm Aileen

Taking a break out from mugging and decided to post a blog... after bibi spotted my blog sure nag at me... sure say "huh.. ask u to study go and blog huh..." hee... but dun care u... just wana show off something really cute... went for shopping today and bought this reali cute baby set for mdm aileen... i was like going "wah.. so cute.. aiyo.. cute.." here and there while we shop at the baby section... and finally decided to get one winnie the pooh baby set for little kaeden... he sure look cute wearing that suit.. so looking forward... and thks GuoCai for giving me the parker set as a belated bday pressie... appreciate it.. having giddy spells again... sigh... and im meeting my bibi tmr for study again.. yeah.. i miss u.. love meeting u everyday... two yrs plus liao im still nt sick and tired of u.. hehehe

Alright... im his baby again and he is my bibi again... we will meetup to talk on sunday when both have cool down... am i unreasonable? am i just being shaky? what am i feeling? he told me he loves me... but we are two hot headed person... carrying on got future? holding on is it a right choice? i ponder...

A story of 2yrs 4mths 16days...

A story of 2yrs 4mths 16days... something that i hold so much hopes... something that i put in so much... has ceased when i wanted it to.. he said im unreasonable.. well maybe im.. i felt insecure... shaky... how does it feels like when someone whom u r so close to suddenly is going to be a stranger of ur life... can someone tell mi? how am i going to overcome this shit that i never encounter before?

im afraid that i cant overcome it.. but denure told me.. "Girl, what don kill u only makes u stronger" a phrase so easy to say.. but so hard to achieve.. i salute jiejie... she is brave.. or is she? perhaps we have the same genes that is soft hearted.. but tis time.. it is nt like any other time.. i smile when we parted.. release? perhaps yes ba...

Chris told me.. "He is the key to ur heart, and also the lock in ur heart.. to unlock it... u need to search for the key.. take ur time.. no rush my dear vonie"... thank u chris.. i dare nt tell lulu n meimei.. i dun wan to affect them.. they r going to genting tmr.. dicky going to msia on sat.. my close pals r all nt going to be by my side tis time when things reali get tough.. i needa wander ard... all alone tis time round.. he used to be someone so close to my heart... to get rid totally and turn him into a stranger... I CAN DO IT!!!! going to take a long long break... i need support.. i need support... hugs used to be there... but becoz of him, i turn them all down and nw their hugs belongs to others...

on 30Mar2009... his msg that i love "Baby, i really love u.. wanna be with u.. play bowling with u every wkend.. spend time with u.. hug u every moment u need mi and walk with u tis lifetime".. our "lifetime" ended in 2yrs 4mths 16days... i am smiling... tearing... i will miss u... do take care... but from tis moment onwards.. we are totally stranger...

i AM SO TIRED... SO TIRED THAT I WANA CLOSe MY EyES AND SLeeP BUt NEvEr wAkE Up...

My dear lady girl is back in SG!!! Happy!! And once i reach SG ytrday after a trip with colleagues... i called her but she was watching movie therefore she called me back later in the night when i was preparing to sleep... she was complaining to me about what has happened on her celebration and cried in the midst of talking to me... my poor girl... sorry for not being there... *hugs* Wonder why some people just have nothing better to do and poke their noses in others' affair... dun u have something better to do.. and hey there, stop talking bad about my poor lady la.. she alrdy went there and having to cope on herself isnt easy.. instead of giving encouragement... u guys gossip gossip and gossip!!! Getting super extremely pissed... my heart and mummy's heart ache badly when she cried on the phone when talking to me.. sigh... silly girl... jiayou... let them say whatever they wan... jiejie will support u de silly.. dun cry k... i was so blind to encourage that someone when she is depressed... two headed snake... scary!!!

Will be meeting up my lady girl real soon... hmm wonder if she will like the pressie i got for her.. hee... it is chosen by my man and myself... "designer taste" he call it.. hee.. ok i trust u... hope she like it!!! Gd luck to bibi for the design competition!!! Win alot alot wo... See bibi on fri... and see meimei on sat!!

IM BACK!!! Went for a 2D1N trip with eleven others and its a trip full of shopping... hehe... spend 100over dollars but manage to get things for everyone i love.. hehe.. that time went with bibi also never shop so much, coz got aisah as a shopping partner its different... girls are girls... heh.. sorry to make bibi worry.. i oso worry mah... never rec his reply when i websms him.. hehe.. some network prob.. sorry bibi.. shall upload photos after collating.. never really use my camera coz got two SLR camera taking photos all the way... hehe... contented with a filling A&W.... meeting bibi tmr... hmm... I MISS U!!! And happy birthday to my dearest xinyi, sorry for not being able to attend ur 21st... date crashed... sorry... muackx

Was suppose to meet him today in town at 1pm but when i reach newton mrt the bus stop at 1236hrs, i called him only to hear that he is still sleeping at home... i then alight the bus immediately and took a cab home... crying on the cab.. am i wrong? I woke up early in the morning to give him morning call at 11.15am cause if i call too late, he will blame me for not giving him ample time to prepare.. and from his character, i know he will go back to sleep so at 11.34am, i called again... he told me he is preparing and told me not to worry, he wont be late... so i went to prepare and dress nice nice and rush out... i became pissed and very upset... we had a very big fight yesterday due to some reason... and i gave him chance again... u guys must be thinking.. HEY SOFT HEARTED again... but i guess that's me.. useless huh...

Whenever we quarrel, he told me to cool down... i'll be leaving in a few hours... with tears in my eyes... and a broken heart...

*U told me u r willing to give up everything for me... only to lemme find out u r still sourcing out for schools... y do u lie when u dun mean it... im tired... i can only wish u all the best... and to tell u... be well when im not ard... and i never regret loving u... thou its full of tears... i will not forget the laughter and joy.. still the same old sentence.. we are from two worlds... we are not suited for each other..*

~ILOVEU!~ IWILLMISSU!